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GREEN COTTAGE
9 New College Parade, Finchley Road, London NW3
Tel: 0171 722 53050
Fat Man rating: 88/100
Green Cottage is situated about 10 minutes from Marble Arch (going North), it's dim and dreary dive and has, unquestionably, the rudest staff in the world. I kid you not when I say that you have to beg for service and, should you piss them off with outlandish requests like 'where's the toilet, please?' or 'could I have a serviette, please?' you run the risk of being beaten, attacked with a cleaver or having your children sold off into slavery with the Triads. It is, I suppose, vaguely clean but the food is, quite simply, the very best Chinese around. Their noodle soups are a meal on their own (literally) and at £5 represent an incredible value. Their Char Sui pork is divine, as are their ribs and Peking Duck; all homemade and hanging up on display to prove it.
Wear old clothes so the blood from neighbouring tables doesn't stain and handcuff your loved ones to your wrist to ensure there are no unwarranted abductions. I've tried to put you off but, I still eat there regularly, in fact, as soon as my wounds from the previous visit have healed.
Expect to pay from £10 to £20 per head for the food and don't even think about ordering wine, it's probably the urine of malcontents!
Kids welcome - if you dare. |
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